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To Be Completely Honest (TSOTW 2015​-​16)

from A Storage Auction in the Form of an Album (Quarantine 2020​!​) by Amanda Rose Riley

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lyrics

To be completely honest
Growing up I never said what I thought
I was so shy it was painful to watch
Most of the kids thought that I was a freak
Well they so rarely heard me speak
They couldn't learn anything about me
I didn't always want to spend all my time alone
But I knew that one wrong word and my chances would be blown

I just want to be completely honest
But I'm afraid that's not what they want
I never know if I should compress it inside till my skull gives way
Or just word vomit the things no one wanted me to say
I have no in-between

And to be completely honest
These days I've moved to the other side
Ever since I learned not to be quiet all the time
Excitement is the feeling that I actually really dread
'Cause I'll say exactly how I feel like I'm out of my head
And can't undo some of the reckless things I've said
I just want to say all the right things and never the wrong ones
But it's so hard to stop them once the words have reached my tongue

But still with you I've kept it clean
And I've never said quite what I mean
And I just want to let you know right now
That any time I'm saying things I shouldn't say out loud
You know that I'm just trying to be completely honest
The only type of perfection that I'd ever aspire to

And so I may as well say fuck off to everyone who's made it worse
And give my thanks and love to those who were there from the first
And admit that I can't say what I want or what I might do
But oh you, I want you I want you I want you I want you
And that I don't even mind about the mess, I'd give anything
For all these romantic notions in my mind
It probably wouldn't work out that way, it never ever does
But why should we not at least give it a shot?

credits

from A Storage Auction in the Form of an Album (Quarantine 2020​!​), released March 20, 2020

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Amanda Rose Riley Lincoln Park, New Jersey

Quirky, punk & pop-influenced acoustic singer-songwriter. Equal parts dreamer and doer.

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