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Better

by Amanda Rose Riley

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1.
Better 02:14
You snapped at someone yesterday when you were going through some shit And though they were moving slow and you were hangry, still they didn’t deserve it You’re not a saint, you’re not perfect But you and I are, we’re worth it ‘Cause you’ve been terrible, you’ve been horrible And it’s got you feeling so bad You got the point across but all is never lost There’s always better days to be had If you always look to make yourself better You care so much about other people and you feel so much empathy That you beat yourself up every time you hurt them, even when you didn’t mean it It’s like you’re only, only as worthy as your worst excuse for being hurtful Every move you make is a chance to fuck up But every day’s another chance to get better You’re gonna be just fine
2.
We’ve been down here so many times before A roller coaster for so many years And it’s not like I could ever think of asking you for anything Oh lately, it’s been taking its toll I’m finding gray hairs that I’ve been letting go But it’s not like you would ever notice if you caught me worrying ‘Cause I’ve been waiting for a long time, waiting for a long time You’ve been standing on the sidelines, standing on the sidelines And tonight is your last chance to make it right I woke up this morning, I straightened out my hair I haven’t heard from you, unspoken words are clear And it’s not like you could ever argue that I owed you anything And it’s not like you have ever helped me with the weight I’m carrying You can make this right, you can make it right You don’t have to give up the fight, please don’t give up the fight ‘Cause I’ve been waiting for a lifetime, waiting for a lifetime And tonight is your last chance to make it right
3.
I used to live in a tree And now I live in the siding of a condominium complex As a squirrel my shelter protects my body from the elements But these giant decorated wood compartments, they are something else One for the baby in a crib, one for the cooking And a little one for all the clothes they use to hide their skin beneath Why do you want to box yourself in? There’s a human on the other side of your wall Their head is 7 inches away from your head, and you don’t know them Why do you want to box yourself in? They try to get me to leave ‘Cause I’m a wild animal and that makes me dirty They like to separate from the outside, they like their privacy And as I skitter to the other side the suburbs rise up around me As I realize this building’s the rule, not the exception This is how humans live, this is their first choice They try to get me to leave And this time, I sneak into a moving truck We travel for so long I start to feel sick But out in the open on the other side is the city Buildings that reach up to the sky, every window compartmentalized But I see another kind of place now There’s strangers reading together and eating together and shyly approaching each other over beer You know, you don’t have to be so shy ‘Cause she’s just as lonely as you are.
4.
Beyond 02:48
The first time I ever went to school on a Sunday I had a fresh workbook and we baked bread, it was a fine day But it didn’t take me long to tire of the white-washed walls I still think about the scent of the overbleached rug Like they could never wash away all the heretics’ blood Positive beliefs they had started to fall away I’d stare at those four white-washed walls closing in on me and say I really hope there’s something else beyond this Beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond ‘Cause I can still remember the day I stopped listening The apocalypse and all the punishments didn’t sit well with me So I made up my mind and I told them that I wouldn’t be back I told them no one had the right to my secrets And I was already on my way to mental freedom But I was still thinking thoughts that now make me cringe ‘Cause the human mind’s always got room for wishful thinking But I don’t need a god to figure out right from wrong And I don’t need a second life when this one is already long enough I don’t care if there’s anything else beyond this Beyond, beyond, beyond, beyond
5.
Falling in love is serious It’s not like we’re just taking a walk This isn’t gonna be like your hobby that you gave up You’re gonna have to give it your all You can’t just promise love You’ve gotta be there when I need you most We’re not just getting close This is the real thing, this is the real thing And when the final descent of the flight is complete I’ll cross my fingers and pick up the armrest and reach for you And give you all my love I’ll give you all my love My head’s full of worries every day And I don’t need another one So if a quick goodbye was something you were gonna say You’re gonna have to hurry it up I’m not afraid of death I’m just afraid of pain and suffering So don’t just make it quick Make it an instant, make it an instant
6.
There are people in this world who make every day a rainy day They never smile at anyone, they only open their mouths to complain They’ll take the joy that we allow them to take We can’t let them win, we can’t let them win Give a smile when you can, and reach out a helping hand ‘Cause we can’t let them win There are people in this world Who want to take away the rights we've achieved And they can't accept us having more Because they've already got all they need If they had their way we'd all be lonely But to tell the truth It’s not right versus wrong or weak versus strong Or progressives against conservatives It’s big corporations controlling our minds Controlling our data and controlling our lives Divide and conquer against everybody else So I say... We can’t let them win
7.
The difference between you and me Is with me you get what you see And I’m capable of love and it’s free And you’re too focused on the fact that The only way to get the gold is if it’s yours and yours alone And everybody else goes home empty-handed I would be surrounded by a few who Encourage everything I do but always try to speak the truth Before I’d have an army to be my yes men And you’re not interesting, you’re interested In looking cool and talking shit Where everything’s about the drink And I just want to leave ‘cause it’s not my style And well, sometimes I wonder if it’s even worth The struggle and the pain and hurt To get my foot inside the door When I’m out in the cold and you’re waving from the inside The difference between you and me is in the dream I want to scrounge together pennies from this work to pay my bills someday And what I want I will achieve You want to be the leader of the pecking order till you’re old and gray And you will never be happy.

credits

released May 8, 2020

Engineered, mixed, and mastered by Chris Badami at Portrait Recording Studios • Cover photo by Nicole Elizabeth • Artwork by Matthew John Corrales.

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Amanda Rose Riley Lincoln Park, New Jersey

Quirky, punk & pop-influenced acoustic singer-songwriter. Equal parts dreamer and doer.

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